Wrestlemania XXX

So how was it for you?  This year contained highs and lows, though the biggest surprise was also the biggest low.  Here's the action broken down.

I managed to miss the pre-show match due to gross incompetence.  Apparently the Usos retained and Cesaro turned face. Good.

Daniel Bryan v. Triple H

Mania started with a great display of theatre; HHH's entry felt a scene from a prog-rock concert, with dry-ice, masked figures and the King of Burials perched upon a throne.  Then Daniel Bryan ran out wearing his ring gear and a t-shirt.  The point of the contrast: only one of these men can we identify with.  The match itself was absolutely rip-roaring.  Bryan came on with his shoulder taped (that beatdown three weeks ago was clearly still causing him problems...) and inevitably Trips immediately got to work on it, goaded on by Steph.  What followed was a lengthy and brutal battle of attrition with both men taking turns to dominate.  Bryan's offence was his usual display of furious kicks and flying leaps, while HHH leant more on submission moves to weaken Bryan's arms and shoulders.  Despite starting at a furious pace, it actually picked up momentum towards the end, as HHH kicked out of the Yes-lock and Bryan kicked out of the Pedigree (when did that last happen?  Has it ever happened?).  Clearly the injured Bryan was fuelled by adrenalin and picked up a clean pin after one last barrage of offence left HHH too exhausted to continue.  Thanks to the superior build, I completely bought this, as I believed that they genuinely hated each other.  To hammer home the point, and angry HHH worked further on Bryan's arm to hinder his chances in the main event.  But he deserves credit for going against the habit of a lifetime and giving his opponent a big clean win.

My rating: A+.  An instant Wrestlemania classic. Despite what Steph says, DB is an A+ player...

 

The Shield v. The New Age Outlaws and Kane

 The Shield dominated from the get-go.  In fact, their ageing opponents got no offence in at all, and following a triple powerbomb, The Shield picked up a pin under two minutes.  I realise we needed a comedown after the emotional highs of the opener, and the result of this was never in doubt.  But, really, this was a total waste of The Shield who are good enough for a much more prominent role.  Also, given that The New Age Outlaws were not so long ago good enough to be tag team champs, so this squash reflects badly on the tag team division.

My rating: C+.  It only gets the '+' because at least the Shield looked smooth; that's the easiest payday they'll ever have.

 

The Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

As I say, I'm not a fan of the format, and we started with an overcrowded ring too crammed for most wrestling moves to work.  Early eliminations showed how much WWE was struggling to fillout the card - Brad Maddox?  I was pleased though to see that, working as a unit, 3MB managed to take out a few other jobbers before being taken out themselves.  A brisk pace was maintained and soon we got down to a reasonable number of upper midcarders.  As expected, Kofi Kingston continued his Rumble tradition of audacious near-escapes.  This time he was thrown out the ring, but although his body lay on the ground, his feet remained on the steps.  Enjoying this series; in fact, it would be nice to see Kofi pick up a surprise win in one of these multi-wrestler matches someday, as he adds so much entertainment to the formats.   Eventually we got down to Big Show facing Cesaro, working a double shift for the night (he'd already hit the Giant Swing on Kingston).  It felt like Big Show would probably win for symbolic reasons (a real giant winning Andre's tournament...), but in an amazing turnaround, Cesaro pulled off an amazing act of strength to lift up Big Show and dump him out for the win.  A stunning Wrestlemania moment that made Cesaro look like the strongest man in the world and gives him great momentum for his post-Mania singles run.

My Rating: B+.  About as good as I can expect of this format, and they used it to put over a worthy winner. 

 

John Cena v. Bray Wyatt

Something of a slow-burner, this, with Bray's mind-games dominating. He started by taunting Cena by lying in front of Cena, begging him to 'finish him off'.  Even after Cena got uncertain offence in, Bray laughed manaically before starting his own offence.  Cena looked positively spooked by his latest opponent; it very much is the case that he's entered the world of the Wyatts, and is not fighting on his own terms.  This is something very different from Cena, and I find that encouraging. In particular, his insufferable cockiness is missing here.  Cena also had one great moment where, instead of leaping off the top rope to attack Bray, instead took out Rowan and Harper ringside; that was well-executed.  Unfortunately, the same old Cena faults were also in evidence; once again that terrible STF made an appearance.  You don't need to know much about wrestling holds to realise he's applying no pressure at all.  But Bray is a real star; his sinister singing of 'He's Got The Whole World In His Hands' (presumably in tribute to the great Nottingham Forest side of the late 70s who had a hit single with that song? Maybe not...) was another enjoyable touch.  Abrupt ending, with Cena winning with a basic Atiitude Adjustment.  That was a little flat, but Bray Wyatt still looked strong.  After his victory, Cena still looked worried and concerned.  Bray's still in his head, and this feud isn't over.

 My Rating: A-.  The weak ending means I can't give it a straight A.

 

Brock Lesnar v. The Undertaker

Firstly the sole good point:  Paul Heyman's mic work in the intro video was up to his usual standards. He teased, cajoled and promoted his client in a five-star performance.  Heenan fans might object, but I believe Paul Heyman is the best talker in the history of wrestling.

However, the match itself was nothing short of dreadful.  It soon became clear that Taker is now in no shape to work a convincing match.  Cena vs Wyatt was slow but purposeful, but this was painfully sluggish.  Lesnar, a genuine tough guy, was too obviously going very easy on the Dead Man.  Had he gone all out with the kind of offence he produced against Triple H in their feud, this would have been over in seconds.  Instead, we had a dull and incredibly drawn-out encounter that looked fake and lasted way too long.  It felt like a bad parody of UFC. The submission manoeuvres were deeply perfunctory, though there was one neat moment where Brock powered out of Hell's Gate. And then the big shock happened.  Having kicked out of the tombstone, Brock hit the F5 and pinned Taker to end the streak.

It was the result no-one expected to see, so at least WWE pulled off a genuine surprise.  But it leaves a bad taste in the mouth that the Streak, and presumably Taker's career, ends with such a dismal match.  His entire legacy is now tainted.  This is the way the streak ends, not with a bang but a whimper.

My Rating: F.  I had no expectations here, but I certainly wasn't expecting this legacy-destroying disaster.

 

Vickie Guerrero Invitational Divas Tournament

I'm struggling to work out the logic.  Vickie Guerrero has booked a match featuring every Diva on the books just to punish champion AJ Lee.  Erm, aren't they both heels?  Fail.

I wasn't concentrating much here, due to trying to deal with the mess I'd just seen, but even I noticed how confused the start was.  Everyone predictably piled into AJ and Tamina, then apparently forgot about their common foe and started fighting among themselves.  It wasn't particularly good but at least the pace was fast.  I noted that AJ was laying low though, which suggested she'd emerge at the end to pick up an against-the-odds victory.  I was right, she attacked Naomi in the middle of the ring and hit her impressive Widow's Peak submission move.  The blind-sided ref noted Naomi tapping out, but a reverse camera angle showed that AJ had grabbed her wrist and was controlling the tap-out.  That was pretty neat.

My Rating: C.  No classic, but I've seen worse from the Divas.

 

World Championship Match: Randy Orton v. Batista v. Daniel Bryan

This continued the brutality of the opening match.  Both Orton and Batista worked Daniel Bryan then turned to each other.  This shows how the triple-threat format works; because you effectively need to take two men out to win, this gave Bryan time to recover as he lay injured.   Inevitably the underdog roused and got in fighting offence to belie his injured state.  Trips and Steph then attempted a screwjob by installing crooked referee Scott Armstrong.  This failed when Bryan took all three out with a flying leap.
 
Bryan's stubborn defiance led to Batista and Orton double-teaming to put Bryan out permanently.  Laying him out on the announce desk, Batista made a move on Bryan so that Orton could hit a reckless RKO through the desk.  Bryan lay motionless, and I actually pondered for a minute if he really was injured.  A paramedic crew came out and placed him on a stretcher.  Ironically, it was Orton who actually did injure himself; he appeared to botch the RKO, and landed heavily on a monitor.  Still he dusted himself down and continued to brawl with Batista.   But, needless to say, Bryan 'hulked up' on the stretcher, and broke away from the paramedics while on the ramp.  Rejoining the fight, Bryan was eventually able to snare Batista in the Yes-lock for a tap-out, after Batista had taken out Randy Orton with the Batista bomb.  Daniel Bryan is the new undisputed World Champion.  This result was probably never in doubt given the heel victories in the previous two matches.  Orton and Batista both played their parts well, but Daniel Bryan was the hardest working man of the night and his victory was very sweet.

My Rating: B+.  It wasn't as well-worked as the opener, and the match's biggest spot was poorly executed.  But this was all about the result, and I'm delighted that WWE didn't try to screw us over this time.

So in conclusion, that was probably a good 7/10 Wrestlemania.  Four very good-to-excellent matches is a better pay-off than you get from most WWE PPVs.  What a pity that the dismal Lesnar-Taker match dragged the whole thing down so badly.